The Marathi language is full of harmonious words ..one such being .” .bembi .”
It means navel or to be anatomically correct..the human umbilicus .
It is also a fact that in Maharashtra..it is common to call the first born girl …baby . This stigma unfortunately sticks to the poor girl for life .
You are probably wondering what the dickens does one have to do with the other ? Where’s the connection ? In this chaotic world ..anything goes .
In Mumbai near Dadar railway station lived a simple couple with the surname Baghudey . childless until their later thirties , they were finally blessed with a girl whose real name is immaterial….. as she was called baby .
Shrimati Baghudey , beautiful as she was , had a speech defect from a cleft palate…so all sounds coming from her vocal cords …by the time they emerged from her mouth ..came with a nasal twang .
Therefore Baby was pronounced as Bembi . As the girl grew up she knew no other name ..was known to one and all as Bembi Baghudey .
It would be charitable to call Bembi average . A wide jawed face with buck teeth , flared nostrils , narrow forehead , nothing to draw attention to .
Until ! Until she reached puberty and went to Ruia college first year Arts , and for the first time discarded her childhood dresses for a real sari blouse …midriff exposed .
Even as she climbed the steps .of the college .she created a sensation . gasps and squeals from students of both sexes…a couple of girls bursting into tears even …on gazing upon her .
The boys were drooling ..one boy actually swooned and fell to the floor .
They were all staring at her navel , her bembi
“ oh ! It’s sooh perfect , ! “ screamed a Gujju girl..in frank admiration , “it’s too beautiful to describe . “
The Principal had come down to see what had caused the traffic jam and the instant she saw Bembi’s bembi , he stood still ..like a statue , unblinking ..his heart beating at 160 beats a minute .
Getting down on his knees he whispered , “ Welcome to Ruia College . We are all honoured . “
Within a week , the rumours had spread far and wide .Students and parents from other colleges took holidays from work …lining up the corridors and sidewalks for a glimpse of the famous bembi . Of course no one looked at the face . What for ?
“It’s a perfect oval. “
“No, it’s a perfect tear drop . “
“ Look at the 8 mms central bulge and the shadows around it ..like a mystical pearl in seclusion and oh ! that curvature below like a jhoola ..it wants to make me cry . “
And so the arguments went on and on . The weren’t lost on Bembi Baghudey , who started wearing her sari lower and lower and choli higher and higher .
Her first break came within an interview with Karan Johar on national TV. As she sat down and slyly and slowly shifted her pallu to expose the unbelievable bembi, Mr. Johar started stammering .Millions of people watching the show stopped eating, moving ,even breathing ..as they grasped the depth and darkness within that little area .
Move over Bipasha . Move over Deepika . You have already receded into the twilight zone .
As photographers focused on Bembi’s bembi ..as the pictures flashed around in every fashion magazine …history was being made .
For one thing ..all women desiring tummy tucks pleaded with their plastic surgeons to make their navel to match with that of Miss Baghudey .
You might as well ask for the moon .. the women were told. Even Michel Angelo would not attempt perfection .
Of course Miss Baghudey was minting money , charging a fortune for a photo session or appearance on talk shows .
She allowed only one famous French artist to paint her bembi ..on a 10 ft. by 8 ft canvas for the Louvre museum…rumour had it that she charged $20, million ..which was put up by the museum of course
On seeing it ... people forgot the Mona Lisa . Riot police were brought in to control the crowds as European men were going berserk , throwing themselves on the floor bawling like kids .
By the age of 21 , Miss Bembi Baghudey was as wealthy as J. Rawlings , the creator of Harry Potter . Being a spiritual Marathi girl , she realized that next to global warming ..the next generation of mankind needed another heavenly bembi or two .
Although the most famous Bollywood heroes and Sethia men yearned to marry our Bembi ..true to her Dadar Marathi heritage .she wished to marry a Pathare Prabhu and hopefully produce a few girls with their mother’s bembi.
Unlike a Swayamwar ..the test called for the suitor to stick his index finger into her bembi ..and she would recognize the right man for her .
Out of hundreds of suitors , she chose only 7 for the test. The first 6 proved to be inept , vulgar and crude . She almost walked out of the hall , to the disappointment of thousands who were watching, when the seventh young man shyly came over and gentle as a floating rose petal put his finger against her navel..first gave a gentle turn ..19 degrees to the right and then 38 degrees to the left …the magic secret combination .
The tingle they both felt brought a flush to their faces .
The audience sighed , the cameras clicked ... the news flashed through CNN even . "The bembi " had done it again .
Bembi’s bembi ..after a few kids may or may not be the same ..but the genes would flow into the next generation and Dadar would be back on the world map .
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thanks ashu really appreciate it :P jaijui
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hehehe
what an imaginationnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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What an imagination Jaijui!!!!! Bembi's bembi...
Wait..lemme...CLAP CLAP
Hilarious, wondefuly written...
Still smilin.....Can't stop honestly.:))))
Promilla
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vish ,
you need to learn your ABCD's all over again ..:) at least your counting numbers is great .. will consider a post in the northern ..ooh ... chilli direction tc
girdhar ji,
sure it does .... no less than Bembi knew to show it off ...thanks for recommending :)
love to both jaijui
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Jaijui: The Bembi makes the world go around ! I wonder what is behind the navel fetish ?
Great Blog !
Girdhar
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jai,
north is my favorite direction..c &d are my fav letters and 34,36, 38 fav numbers.. get the drift do ya
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vish ..kya baat hain .. i knew you would get a kick out of it .. ha ha
ataa north move honaar asa watatey ..any ideas ?
namita ..thanks so much ...mumbai wallas will appreciate i know :)
shaken.. so next time you see a bembi she might be an off spring of our bembs :)
love to all jaijui
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Mmm you just gave "furiously gazing at my navel a new meaning"
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hi jaijui
u r some girl .the imagination the humour.....pearl in seclusion....the curvature like jhoola....its refreshing to read this post .
namita
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Jai,
I must really love you..posting this for the third time, 2 eralier attempts went into electronic dust..
hasoon hasoon pot dukhla (ROFL for my non marathi buddies)
you have a nice wicked and fresh sense of humor..
so after bembi, do you move north or south..waiting with excited breath
vish
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