Jagannath Ishwar knew his destiny from an early age .
From childhood he had been a lazy bum . Having failed the 7th grade ( how he hated the number 7 ) he had learnt how to con the public and decided life was not worth the toil and trouble .
He would become a Baba .
After all with a name such as his… what else could he be ?
So he parked himself at the top of the steps of a lake on the edge of town with the rudraksha beads and orange haldi paste smeared across his forehead .
Since he knew not a word of the Upanishads , Vedas or Manusmriti or any Puja , silence was the best policy ,
He would wash himself in the water at dawn ….since he did not believe in underwear , the process was easy .
There were only two shade trees at the bank of the lake . Our self proclaimed Babaji sat under one , the local bhang dealer under the other .Their friendship was mutual . The bhang would put Babaji in a stupor ..what the local gullible worshippers took for a trance …and as the volume of suckers doubled , so did the bhang seller’s business
You scratch my back ..I’ll scratch yours .
However in rainy cold weather , both businesses suffered .Baba decided he needed a temple over his head. That meant donations in the lakh of rupes from clients in the upper crust .
Sometime nature takes a hand even in a perverse way.
The people living in local housing complexes in town had had their patience pushed to the limit with the population of sparrows .The sparrows defaecated over the cars , clotheslines and even on top of the childrens’ heads as they played in the yard .
The men finally got together and destroyed all the nests leaving the sparrows homeless .
By this time , Babaji’s beard had grown long , like a lion’s dirty mane. As Babaji lay all night in a stupor , dozens of sparrows burrowed in his big beard for shelter.
As Babaji woke up to his horror , these twittered feathered nuisances were deep into his beard , and as he touched it , he even felt a few little eggs neatly lodged and incubating securely in the warmth of all that hair .
At first , totally disgusted , he asked his bhangwalla to get a razor. But he soon dropped the idea .
In the morning , he announced to his worshippers that Lord Jagannath , his namesake , came in a vision, telling him that this site was so holy that a temple will arise in his name .
Baba announced his fast . It would be even stricter than Mahatma Gandhi’s fast. No food .no milk , no nimboo pani, not even his own urine , as a famous politician brahmachari had advocated . Just water.
Lake water , boiled on a shegdi , in front of one and all . That’s it .
As the word spread , believers gathered around him left and right He did not want a single human within 30 feet around him ,as the sparrows would be disturbed . It also made sure that cheating was impossible .
Within 12 hours of daylight ,Jagya as his parents called him was already starving .
As darkness approached, one by one he pulled out a few eggs from his beard, cracked the shells and pretending to wipe his nose , ate them all up , yolk and all.
This he would do every night and the more eggs he ate he more the poor sparrows would lay into his beard . After all , a new generation of sparrows had to be replenished .
Days went by , followed by weeks .Even the non believers were astonished .at the absence of cheating .
The 39 foot perimeter was never broken except for the delivery of lake water into his boiling pot .
The money started pouring in . Faithful devotees dropped coins , currency notes, gold, jewellery into a large matka within sight of all . Soon it was full.
After the 4th week, 20 matkas were full and still the donations were coming in .
Instead of looking starved and pathetic , Babji looked pink and healthy . Not a trace of loss of weight . But of late he had a sad wistful expression on his face .
How he missed his bhang.! The devotees mistook it for divine inspiration .
By the 6hth week, there was enough money to build a temple that even the Birla’s would envy .
Thousands gathered around him with the news that his fast was no longer necessary .
No one noticed the hundred of cracked egg shells that their feet trampled over .
The bhangwalla brought scissors to trim the beard.
It was stinking to high heavens by now as his Babaji went to bathe in the waters of the lake .
The feast laid before him that day would have satisfied an elephant.
But Babaji ‘s mind would not stay idle. As his roving gaze caught the adoring eyes of dozens of young shapely nubile chicks , he looked up and folded his hands in prayer .
Hari Om ! His temple would need a few devdasis .
nice ending :)
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