To say that little eleven year old Shaila was spoilt would be an understatement .
Besides the fact that her older brother Sudhir doted on her , her parents always caved in to her every wish .
Shaila had just seen a pair of Versace sunglasses in a glamorous magazine that her mom was reading . She wanted to own them right away, turning a deaf ear to her parents’explanations about their unavailability in Mumbai .
( not to mention the fact that it was out of their budget )
Her brother Sudhir had taken her along for company one evening while he looked for a pair of shoes in Colaba . While he was busy with that , his sister was loitering outside the shop .
Lo and behold , what a surprise ! On the footpath was a vendor with a basket of goodies ; hanging out on one side of the basket was a pair of goggles , none other than Versace , exact style , green colour frame and silver monogram .
“ How much ? “ asked Shaila
“For a sweet girl like you, I should give it for free, “ said the vendor . “ My boss would be unhappy . How about 95 rupees ?”
Shaila had more than that in her purse ,she immediately purchased the dark glasses and joyfully showed them to Sudhir .
Sudhir took a quick look the cheap plastic imitation . The monogram was spelt Wursashi and on the frame was engraved USA which he knew stood for Ulhasnagar Sindhi Association .
But he could not break his sister’s heart .
Coming out of the shop , Shaila put on her sunglasses . The bright day changed to a dark evening, so black were the glasses . She did not care .
With the first step she took , Shaila almost fell on her face . The footpath appeared one foot higher . As her brother quizzically raised his eyebrows, she stubbornly insisted that nothing was wrong .
Very soon she adjusted although she had to proceed in a high stepping marching gait .
But at the edge where the footpath stopped at the curb , she misjudged the street level by 18 to 20 inches .
A bhaiyya pushing his panipuri cart had stopped , bent over for a second to scratch the space between his buttocks .
(In Mumbai , it’s a well kept , unspoken secret that this repeated maneuver adds to the taste of the pani )
Had those fat buttocks not stood in the way as buffers , Shaila would have had a head injury. Butting her head into his butts however knocked the bhaiyya into his cart , which rolled into the street and into the middle of traffic .
The smart taxi driver used to Mumbai’s traffic hazards, braked in time , so did the cars behind him.
All would have been well if it wasn’t for Manoranjan Varma driving his lorry behind the braking cars .
True to his name , one per cent of his attention was on the traffic , and ninety nine percent on the cute chick in short tight skirts to his left on the footpath .
As he collided into the car ahead of him, all five cars in front seemed to join as one , heading for the panipuriwalla’s cart .
No one was hurt as Mumbai cars drove at slow speeds because of the bumper to bumper traffic , but the obscenities that emerged were truly noteworthy .
Sudhir grabbed his sister’s hand saying “ Enough is enough . We are going to return those glasses right now “.as he pulled her back towards the Bata shoe shop
“No way ., “ argued Sarita , “ I will die before that . “
Fortunately Gomu came to the rescue .She was a big fat bhains ..or female buffalo….. as hoity toity as could be…… pulling the bullock cart at the cross roads a hundred meters ahead , ringing the bells around the neck ….at the same time of the day as was her routine .
She turned the corner without missing a single dainty step and dropped a loadful of shit .
Maganlala Panwala was nonchalantly preparing a Calcutta mitha paan for a customer , his philosophical mind still in a quandry .
Why ?
Why did Gomu do this every day , same place , same time ?
Why was it such a giant load ?One would think a tyranosaurus rex had passed by…
Why was it without fail that some sucker always stepped into the cowdung while it was hot , wet and mushy ?
Even as Maganlal pondered these earthshaking ideas, Shaila came stamping down the road and stepped smack into the pile of Gomu’s offerings .
“Eeks , ‘she screamed , “ Shee ! Shee ! Help Sudhir , do something . “
At that , Maganlal Panwala stopped in the act of putting the supari in the pan and with a bored look , told Sudhir to get the bucket of water sitting outside that Irani restaurant and wash her feet .
And then he went back to his pan After all it was a daily occurrence . Sigh !
Truly , thought Maganlal,… Gomu deserved more recognition.
If only she had unloaded at the waters’ edge , there would be enough landfill to build a 5 star hotel every few years .
If only Monet or Van Gogh were alive, they would be desperately working on their palette , trying out their strange parrot green Chinese shade of Gomu’s droppings .
If only Gomu was two legged instead of four legged , who knows , she might have been nominated for a Padmabhushan.
“ I hate those glasses ,” said Shaila while her brother washed her feet . I don’t ever want to see these stupid Versace glasses for the rest of my life . “
The street vendor of course was nowhere to be seen . From a distance , Sudhir heard a voice shouting ,
“Genuine Rolex watch …..pukka genuine ..only 500 rupees .”
Close
hey jai
wow that really cracked me up...u manage to make it funny, interesting and identifiable at the same time..u are too good.. :) loved it
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Ok,ok.. you took writers' liberty then!And about you not being shaila and vice-a-versa,hey it's news for me
c u around..
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arre good critic,
i know about mumbai's versace ..but shaila doesnt .
i am not shaila ...shalia is not me..
parents indeed lied to her about unavailability ..so she would stop bugging them .
shaila is blissfully unaware of it ..
phew ... aur kya ? :P :P well im glad someones reading my blogs carefully !!!
take are ,
jai
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Which means you on behalf of her parents lied to her as in the writer's very words she turned "a deaf ear to her parents’explanations about their unavailability in Mumbai" .Kya yaar?
This made me think that she wasn't aware of availability,though yeah they wld cost her a bomb to own them........
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hey good critic ,
ha ha you scared me ..haan haan , i know Versace is available..
but apni poor shaila doesnt get too much pocket money .....even though she borrows shamelessly from her indulgent brother ...so she has to settle for fakes ..but reasonable fakes he he :))
I'll pass it onto her :P :P
jai
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OOPS..JJ there seems to be a MISTAKE in YOUR STORY,Hey take it easy,dahls! I just wanted to mention that VERSACE is very much AVAILABLE in INDIA,and also in MUMBAI.The Couture house opened 2 branches,one at JUHU's JWMARIOTTand other at NARIMAN POINT about one and half year ago.Even before that, this and many other fashion and global brands were available in India under different franchisee houses which made all of the originals(imported directly) available under one roof.Hope this wld help our bechari shaila know where she needs to go in mumbai to get all her fav .branded goods and avoid the situations mentioned in u'r story
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hi ramesh,
thanks ,my friend ..ya i know my imagination takes off ..especially when im not looking .. he he
hope you are doing alifight
take care
jai
balakdas,
thanks ..he he was giving the story a comic turn ..
cow dung yeah
hows your singing coming along ? :)
jai
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hi jaijui,
nice little piece, well written. well connected imagery in names, places, things, people and animals. this one's brought back so many childhood memories for me of my own hometown busy streets full of life, and of course, plenty of cow dung :))
keep them rolling!
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Dear Jaijui
Again... !! Hillarious as always!!! Your capability to expand imagination is as wide as Earth's diameter itself!!! Gret one!!
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Hey yash,
thanks hey ji ji kai laavla ahay ? Mumbai cha nostalgia yeto malaa ..
happy holidays
jai :)
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